The Canadian Imagination

What it means to be Canadian; examining and reworking Canada as a nation.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

I am Canadian

Hey,
I am not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.
I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled.
I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzie from Canada,
Although I'm sure certain they are really, really nice.

I have a prime minister, not a president.
I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'aboot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing, diversity, not assimilation,
And that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

A toque is a hat.
A chesterfield is a couch.
And it is pronounced 'zed'. Not 'zee', 'zed'.

Canada is the second largest landmass,
The first nation of hockey,
And the best part of North America.

My name is Joe,
And I am Canadian.

(thank you)


(and what does it say about us Canucks, that we find our patriotism in beer and coffee promotions? Nevertheless.)

2 Comments:

At Tue Dec 20, 07:17:00 PM, Blogger Tenebris said...

I am Albertan

Hey, I'm not a farmer or an oil worker.
I don't live in Red Deer or eat raw beef or own a pickup truck.
I don't know Doug or Dwayne or Debbie from Fort McMurray, but I'm sure they're very nice people.
I have a premier named Ralph, not a dictator named Lucien.
And I speak English, you got it? English. Not French.
And I'm sick of having French rammed down my throat.
I go to the lake and stay in a cabin, not a cottage.
I believe in plugging in my car during the winter because if I don't, it won't start.
I drive 100 km/h in the left hand lane on Highway 2 even though the sign says, "slower traffic, keep to the right."
I'm not against Bill 11, but I'm not for Bill 11.
As a matter of fact, I don't even know what Bill 11 is all about.
I cheer for the Oilers because they play in the Leagues.
I don't believe Toronto is the centre of the universe.
I've never been there and I don't ever plan on going there.
Alberta has the second largest deposit of oil in the world.
And because of that, I don't pay taxes.
And I believe it's the greatest province in the country.
But I'd still move to B.C. if I got a good job offer.
My name is Joe.
And I am Albertan.

Actually, I moved here from Ontario in the '80's.

 
At Tue Dec 20, 07:23:00 PM, Blogger Tenebris said...

I is a Newfie!

Eh Dare,
I am not a roofer or, a fisherman, and I am not collecting Pogey.
I don't live in a rented house with 4 udder newfie friends.
I don't eat Moose meat every day and I don't drive a Ski-doo.
And I don't know Barry, Jimmy or Glenn from Grand Falls although I am certain they are good folk.
I drink Screech or beer -- or anything with a percent of alcohol.
I believe in open bars everywhere, and I pronounce it "turbo", not "turbott".
I can proudly fly my province's flag in the back window of my pickup.
A toque is a hat. Fried bologna is a meal.
And the cod is a proud and noble fish!
And it is pronounced "tree", not "three", "tree".
Newfoundland is the last member of confederation,
the 1st province of fishing
and the best part of the Atlantic ocean.
My name is Bob,
And I is a Newfie!

Bye!

 

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